Self-Harm
I don’t understand why you would do that to yourself.
You’re just doing it for attention.
You have such a good life -- what is wrong with you?
You are so overdramatic.
Many people can’t understand why someone would harm themselves on purpose. They think of it as something people choose to do and, therefore, can just stop.
They don’t understand that it’s not that easy.
You know that self-harm isn’t an answer, and that it ultimately makes everything worse. You know that you will have to wear long sleeves, or pants, even if it is 90 degrees outside. You know that people will treat you differently – friends, colleagues, teachers, even doctors. They may look at you like you’re crazy. They will be very, very careful about what they say to you. They may even be confrontational and angry, blaming you for creating problems when all you want is for someone to help you solve the ones you have.
They don’t understand that you would stop if you knew how.
So why do you do it?
Distraction
Emotions and thoughts can become overwhelming. Your feelings are so intense that you don’t think you can handle them. You may feel like they are going to consume you. You need to do something to not feel whatever it is you’re feeling now.
Self punishment
You may dislike yourself, even hate yourself. You feel ashamed or embarrassed about things you’ve done or said. You don’t think you deserve happiness. You may even feel like you deserve to live.
Feeling numb
Sometimes you feel completely disconnected from your feelings, the world, and yourself. If someone asks you how you feel, your answer is “nothing.” You need something to help bring you back to reality.
To ask for help
The term “cry for help” is thrown around, but there is truth to it. No one has ever taken your pain seriously. You’ve never had help when you asked for it. You think that the only way you can get anyone to care about you is to hurt yourself and let them know about it. Maybe you “accidentally” allow them to see your injuries, or maybe you threaten to do it or blame them when you do.
Self injury is not something you want to do. Of course you would stop it if you could, but you just can’t. You need help. Most people do.
It is possible to stop. It is possible to learn healthier ways to cope, and it is possible to feel better about yourself.
If you’ve had enough and you’re ready for help, the first step is contacting me here.
I can help.
Therapy has been proven to be effective. Not only does study after study show this, but I know this to be true from my own first hand experience. I’ve been working for more than twenty years to help people overcome their challenges.
I’m Dr. Belinda Barnett. I’ve dedicated my entire adult life to helping people going through the same challenges you are. I worked with the Veterans Administration for over eighteen years on some of the most difficult cases there are. I understand how hard things can be…
And I can help.
I am a down-to-earth person who will treat you as an equal. I do not see the therapeutic relationship as doctor-patient, but rather two people working together. I have book knowledge and clinical training, but you have the knowledge of yourself. My aim is for us to work together to help solve your problems.
The first step in that process is to contact me. Easy, right?
Photo: Jen Barker Worley
